Wednesday 5th of July, according to my week planner I had been given before the course I should of been in the workshop a day ago, but things got dragged on longer than they should what with Mr health and safety going on about cancerous testicles.
So here we are, third day and we've finally started our Tyre training course, none of it physical to my dismay.
However, you could ask me to reccomend the size, design and pressure best suited to your car and the only information I would need is your average monthly mileage and the approximate weight of your vehicle. Quite a feat for a days learning, but oh yes there's more, you could also ask me how a tire is structured, why its structured like it is and I would be able to reply in confidence with three seperate Tyre designs, dates of commission and decommission, pros and cons of each design and the history of tyre tread pattern.
All very impressive? Maybe not to some but wait for it... there's more. you could also, if you weren't injecting adrenaline into your blood stream to stay awake, ask me how i would go about repairing a puncture on a tubeless Tyre, why it is important to use a certain method and why it is important to repair the puncture to standard BSAU159 aswell as what type of puncture plug I would use, to which I would respond with a very long, intricate and boring speech answering each individual aspect of the question.
Were you to ask me anything, about a Tyre, I could probably answer it fully, in great detail and with plenty of passion.
Great progress for a days work I believe, however despite all the good knowledge I have gained throughout the course of the day nothing has made me happier than an empty room. Snorey McGee has moved rooms with another lad... leaving me and Andy Murray (yes, thats his real name) each with our own room... result? Yes.
Now onto my group, so far I haven't mentioned alot about the Scottish lads, if you were to think that to be because they're self contained or boring you'd be wrong;
They're the funniest three lads I've ever had the pleasure to meet, but out of all three Andy has the most character, after a good chat today and getting to know him he finally came up with a verdict of "you're the only English lad I haven't wanted to punch" whether or not this is a compliment I'm not sure, but from what I've gathered throughout various life experiences this tends to be a good thing.
After a night out in bootle with them I must admit, between a combination of scousers and Scott's I don't have a clue what's going on most of the time, until I hear "what?" Because that normally means he two have started to converse and are struggling to understand eachother.
Most of the time I play translator, sometimes just to take the piss, other times because its getting to a hostile level of awkwardness.
But if one things to come of this, I now speak excellent Scottish, their dictionary consists of a handful of imperitive words to Scottish survival; -Haggis
-Irn bru
-Bastard
-Juice
Now, the last one, "juice" I can't truthfully say I've ever heard coffee referred to as "juice" at the table last night Andy stares me square in the face and says "pour me a glass of that mean tasting juice" or atleast, thats what i found out he said, with the speed he talks at all I caught was "poor lassy likes man tasting juice" it could be me, but I got the wrong end of the stick on that one.
After five minutes of "what's" and "eh's!?" We deciphered what he really wanted, by which point he'd got up, walked to the counter got a mug of coffee and poured it away because it "tasted like my grans Haggis" again, not sounding too good from where I'm sat.
My only concern with these Scottish lads is that we'll end up getting into trouble when someone only catches a few words per sentence, for example "you buggered me today you complete arse!" did Infact come across as "you buggered me arse"
But, at the end of the day, I have an empty room a clean toilet and I don't have a headache... problem solved.
No comments:
Post a Comment